What if
by L J Clark
Summary: What if Mickey didn't make it to Sookie in Dead as a Doornail? A little 'what if' story that looks at what might have happened if Sookie and Eric had not been disturbed.
1. Chapter 1

What if Mickey never interrupted in _Dead as a Doornail?_

_..."Should I just bite you, and end it all?"he whispered. "I would never have to think about you again. Thinking about you is an annoying habit, and one I want to be rid of. Or should I start arousing you, and discover if sex with you is really the best I've ever had?"_

_ I didn't think I was going to get the vote on this. I cleared my throat. "Eric," I said, a little hoarsely, "we need to talk about something."_

_ "No. No. No," he said. With each 'no' his lips brushed my skin..._

I shuddered at his masterful touch. I was more than a little scared of him right now but still, through all my fear and pain, I wanted him. I could not deny the wave of lust I felt as his lips explored my neck, my throat. I had to stifle a moan but somehow I managed. I remained still, solid and I fought back my desire. It wasn't just that it had been a while, or that his ability to make a woman's body sing was indisputable. It was the memories than flooded my mind. I remembered all those times he had touched me like this and I had been so happy and grateful for it. I remembered what it had been like to live with him for that short time and it sent me into a downward spiral of longing.

For too long I had managed to bury those memories, those feelings, and focus on this cursed reality but with him touching me like this it was just too hard. I could no longer ignore the yearning I had for him, or the affection. It wouldn't have been hard for me to love him deeply but, of course, that was exactly the reason I couldn't let this continue.

"Please Eric, stop," I begged through ragged breath. A tear fell from my eye as I was overcome with the tangled web of my emotions. I was trapped in more way than one. He pulled back and looked into my eyes. His fangs were down and I could see the hunger in his gaze. I just didn't know which hunger he was fighting.

"You smell so good, Sookie. I want you. I want to lick you, bite you and fuck you. I want to know what it is that I have forgotten." With that his lips crashed down on mine and I was lost. I tried to fight him off me but he was too strong and I was too weak with pain and desire. It took a shamefully short time for my lips to battle with his. His tongue darted into my mouth and I release the moan I had been holding back. That ignited something inside him and his hands knotted in my hair. He kissed me with a passion that was violent but my body was so hot for him I didn't care. My mind was taking a vacation as I gave into my bodies want with no thought to the consequences.

He continued to kiss me as his hand wound under my black pants and rubbed against my already saturated panties. I shuddered at his touch and my body arched up to his. He smiled at me smugly but without saying a word. My hands dug into his back as his fingers found their way under the lace. I was breathing heavily and moaning uncontrollably by this point. Just as his long fingers curled inside me and his thumb stroked my nub in a practiced rhythm his fangs plunged into my neck. I was so far gone on the wave of pleasure than I didn't feel any pain. Even the pain from my shoulder was currently forgotten. All I could think was...more. I wanted more.

Eric seemed to think the same thing because as soon as the tremors subsided he lifted me up and carried me to my bed. We were both naked in the blink of an eye and he licked his lips as he appraised me.

"You look so good, lover." The words were not complimentary but predatory yet the look in his eyes was familiar. I could almost imagine it was _my_ Eric looking down at me. He crawled over me and the weight of his body on mine was a comfort that I had sorely missed. He didn't speak but looked into my eyes as if to communicate through the intensity of his gaze. His hands part my legs and my body obeyed willingly. He lined himself up with my entrance and pausing only briefly to look down into my face he thrust his hips forward and entered me to the hilt. I cried out and bite my lip. My hands dug into his gorgeous ass to urge him on- not that he needed any urging- and he thrust into me with slow and deep moves that made my head spin. My hips rose to meet his and we found a rhythm that had us both groaning and clasping at each other.

I watched his eyes glow brighter and brighter as he looked back down at me. I didn't take long for me to reach my second climax, helped along by him suckling my breast.

"Omigod, Eric!" I screamed as I came. I chuckled against my skin at his triumph and bit into my nipple. The taste of my blood triggered his own release and he roared with pleasure. Once the shudders stopped he pulled out of me and fell to my side. I stared up at the ceiling and tried to hold back the tears. What had I done?

I felt weak due to the returning pain in my shoulder, the loss of blood and the satiated glow of the rest of my body. I wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and escape the reality of what had just happened. Eric had other ideas.

"You really are the best," he said with some surprise as he rolled on his side to look down at me. He propped one arm up on his elbow and the other he draped over my waist. His leg draped over mine too and it was clear he was not letting me escape anything.

"Thanks," I said but even to me the word felt hollow. I was still trying to deal with the horror of my actions. I was so ashamed with myself. "You're not so bad yourself."

He chuckled at my flimsy compliment, "I know." Somehow his arrogance made me feel better and I smiled back at him. "Why?" I frowned not understanding what he was asking me.

"Why what?" His hand began tracing circles in my skin leaving goose bumps behind.

"Why didn't you tell me?" His voice was not angry or frustrated...it almost sounded hurt?

"I don't know what you mean, Eric. Why didn't I tell you what happened when you lost your memory? I thought that was obvious." He was being very strange and it was making me very scared again. He looked down at me as if he was seeing me for the first time. I felt like he could see everything, see into my very soul with those eyes.

"Why didn't you tell me how we really felt about each other? You promised to tell me everything but you didn't. You kept how we really felt to yourself, why?" I felt sick. He couldn't have remembered, could he?

"I don't have any idea what you're talking about," I lied. I knew from his hiss that he wasn't buying any of it. He sat up and placed his hands on either side of my face. For one brief moment I thought he might crush my skull but I pushed the thought aside. He looked so upset the blue in his eyes was deeper and darker somehow.

"I love you, Sookie. We love each other. That's why I couldn't stop thinking about you. That's why I crave you the way I do. We fell in love. Why didn't you tell me?" I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. Part of me didn't want to believe him but looking into his eyes I knew he was telling me the truth. He loved me. The idea was just so...terrifying, ridiculous, incredible...wonderful.

He lay back down and pulled me into his arms so that my head was resting on his chest. He was careful not to tousle my shoulder and he began humming to me softly as he had sometimes before. Eventually I found my voice although it was little more than a whisper.

"I...I was afraid." He stopped humming and stroking me. He became perfectly still.

"You thought I would kill you?" I could hear the disgust in his question but I didn't know if it was for my fear or his own behaviour toward me.

"No," I answered carefully. "I was afraid you would hurt me sometimes but mostly I was afraid you would reject me, laugh at me. It hurt so much to lose you once I simply couldn't risk doing it again." He was silent for a while as if trying to understand something which had simply never occurred to him.

"It doesn't matter now. You are MINE and I love you. You will never have to lose me again." There were plenty of things I wanted to say to that- like how I was NOT _his,_ or that we weren't even really a couple or, that I loved him too- but in the end I decided it could wait. I was so tired and I didn't want to worry or fight anymore so I let myself drift off to sleep in my lover's arms. After all, it was Eric. I knew I was safe and there would plenty of chances to talk later. That's what you get when you're in love with a control freak.


	2. wonderful news

**Wonderful news!**

Greetings to all and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Just wanted to shamelessly let you know that you can find my new book Triquetra Ascension (The Triquetra Trilogy) on Amazon kindle. /author/ljclark

Also, it has been asked if my original fiction will be available in any other form than on Kindle. Unfortunately, at this time, the answer is no. I may look into other formats in the future, but I have agreed to remain exclusively on Amazon for at least the next three months. I don't see this changing anytime soon.

Finally, I am planning on working away at Cure of Being Me, so I hope to update soon. Stay posted.

As always, thanks for reading.

L J Clark xx


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